Let me be candid. This happened just earlier today. I yelled at my husband for complementing my hair.
You see, this morning, as I was getting ready for the day, I tried a million different styles with my hair. Straight down. Side ponytail. Back ponytail. Pinned back. Messy Bun. Braided. And then finally decided to just keep it pinned back. I looked in the mirror, knowing I looked exhausted from the Wednesday night youth service last night, and thought these words to myself in my head: “If even one person compliments me on my hair today, so help them. I am just going to lose it.”
Thursdays are never my most glamorous day. Even after an awesome youth service last night, I am left tired, feeling like I’ve poured everything out and woken up feeling empty and needing God to somehow work in and through me.
As I walked into the church this morning, I spilled coffee everywhere (for the second time this week, I might add). I tried laughing it off as I cleaned myself up in our small office kitchen. And that’s when it happened. My amazing husband, unbeknownst to him, was getting ready to step on a land mine. In his kindness, as he helped me clean the coffee off of my belongings, he looked at me and said, “Wow, your hair looks great today.”
I wish I could tell you that I hugged him or that the his words came over me like a wave that made this coffee-dropping, bad-hair-day Thursday morning better. But I didn’t. Instead, as tears welled up in my eyes, I chastised him for complimenting the one thing I said did not in any way look good today.
I’m thankful that my husband doesn’t anger easily. I’m glad that he knows me well enough to know that I have moments of weakness, and that sometimes my weakness comes out as frustration at him for the wrong reasons at the wrong times. I am blessed that he forgives me. I am relieved that he always offers me grace.
In our 6 years of marriage, I have learned so much about grace and forgiveness from the relationship I have with my husband. He models these godly characteristics, and the way he loves me through my weaknesses and shortcomings is a glimpse at the way God shows each one of us the grace that we so desperately need each and every day of our lives.
So, dear StuMinWife, in whatever ways you are feeling like a failure, whether in your ministry, your marriage, your responsibilities as mom, your job, or even your hair, I hope you hear this. My prayer for you today is that you feel the fullness of love and grace that God has for you, even in your weakest and darkest moments. He sees you where you are and wants nothing more than to pick you up and let you know that his grace will carry you through.
“But the Lord said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10